School refusal treatment for kids and teens in the Chicago Suburbs
School refusal is not defiance. It is not laziness. And it is not a parenting problem.
School refusal, also called school avoidance or emotionally-based school non-attendance, is when a child or teenager experiences significant difficulty attending school due to emotional distress. It can look like:
Crying, tantrums, or meltdowns before school
Physical complaints in the morning, like stomachaches, headaches, or nausea, that often disappear on weekends
Repeated requests to stay home, go to the nurse, or leave school early
Clinging, pleading, or negotiating to avoid going
Gradual or sudden refusal to leave the house
School refusal is almost always driven by real anxiety, whether that's separation anxiety, social anxiety, panic, OCD, or a combination. And the longer avoidance continues, the more entrenched it becomes. Every day at home is a day that teaches the brain that school is dangerous and home is safe, making the next morning even harder.
Early and targeted intervention is key. The good news: school refusal responds very well to treatment.
Every day at home makes tomorrow harder. But the path back to school exists, and I can help you find it.
This is for your family if…
🔹 Your child cries, melts down, or becomes physically ill before school on a regular basis
🔹 Your child has missed significant school time due to anxiety, whether one week or one year
🔹 Your child attends school but suffers through it, counting down to pickup, visiting the nurse frequently, or texting you from class
🔹 Getting your child out the door has become the most stressful part of your day, every day
🔹 You have tried reasoning, reassuring, and every other approach, and nothing has worked
🔹 The school has been involved but things haven't improved
🔹 Your teenager has stopped attending entirely and is now isolated at home
If any of these sound familiar, you are in the right place.
We often start with you, the parent.
One of the most important things to know about school anxiety treatment: you do not always have to wait for your child to be "ready" for therapy before things can start to change.
I am trained in SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxiety, OCD, and Related Disorders), an evidence-based parent training program developed at Yale University. SPACE is designed specifically to help parents respond to their child's anxiety in ways that reduce it, rather than unintentionally reinforcing it.
In many cases, I begin working with parents first, before the child ever enters treatment. This can shift the dynamic at home, reduce family accommodation of anxiety, and begin changing patterns that have been keeping school refusal going. Sometimes parent work alone produces significant results. Always, it makes the child's treatment more effective.
We build a collaborative plan with you, your child, and the school.
We use SPACE-informed strategies at home.
We use real-world exposures, including home visits.
School refusal does not resolve in a therapy office alone. Real recovery requires everyone on the same page.
Your child or teen. Treatment is collaborative and paced. I build a hierarchy of small, achievable steps back toward school attendance. Your child's input matters and their pace is respected, while also being gently but consistently challenged.
You, the parent. You are one of the most powerful forces in your child's recovery. Parent coaching and family sessions are woven throughout treatment, not added on at the end.
The school. I collaborate directly with teachers, school counselors, social workers, and administrators to coordinate a return-to-school plan that works. Schools are partners in this process, not bystanders. A consistent, coordinated response between home and school makes all the difference.
Other providers. If your child works with a pediatrician, psychiatrist, occupational therapist, or another therapist, I coordinate with them. Comprehensive care is more effective than siloed care.
Anxiety cannot be treated only in a therapy office. At some point, the work has to happen in the real world, at the school, in the car on the way there, at the front door, in the hallway.
I offer in-vivo exposures, meaning sessions that take place wherever the anxiety is. That might mean meeting at your home to work through the morning routine, driving to school together, walking through the building, or practicing the cafeteria or the hallway before the school day starts.
For families where getting out of the house is itself the barrier, I will come to you. Home visits are part of how I work with school refusal, because sometimes the most important session is the one that happens at your kitchen table.
(A travel fee applies for locations far from the Naperville office.)
The goal is clear: your child back in school, functioning, and feeling capable. We work toward that goal systematically and efficiently. Treatment is not open-ended. Most families see meaningful progress within weeks to a few months, depending on severity and how long avoidance has been going on.
How school anxiety is treated at Untangled — and why it's different
Treatment is short-term and goal-oriented.
What happens at home between sessions matters as much as what happens in the therapy room. Through SPACE-based parent coaching, I work with parents on:
How to respond to morning meltdowns in ways that reduce anxiety over time
How to gradually reduce accommodation the ways families unintentionally help anxiety stay in charge
How to communicate with your child about school in ways that build confidence rather than amplifying worry
How to hold the line with warmth and consistency even when it is hard
Taking the first step is often the hardest part. Reach out. I'd love to hear what's going on.
Approaches used in school anxiety treatment
SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxiety, OCD, and Related Disorders) — evidence-based parent training; often the starting point
CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) — identifying and shifting the thoughts and patterns that maintain anxiety
ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) — systematic, graduated exposure to feared school situations
ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) — building flexibility and willingness to face difficult feelings
In-vivo exposures — real-world practice in and around school
Home visits — when leaving home is the barrier
School collaboration — direct coordination with school staff and administrators
Provider collaboration — coordination with psychiatrists, pediatricians, OTs, and other involved providers
I implement treatment based on evidence, encompassing Exposure and Response Prevention, Inference-Based Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions).
Q: My child refuses to come to therapy. Can you still help?
A: Yes. This is one of the most common situations I work with. I can begin by working with you as the parent through SPACE, which can shift the patterns at home and sometimes opens the door for your child's own engagement in treatment over time.
Q: Won't pushing my child to go back to school make things worse?
A: It feels that way, but the research tells a different story. Continued avoidance strengthens anxiety. Graduated, supported return to school, done at the right pace and with the right scaffolding, reduces anxiety over time. The key is how it is done, not whether it is done.
Q: My child's school hasn't been helpful. Can you work with them?
A: Yes. I work directly with school staff, including counselors, social workers, teachers, and administrators, to build a coordinated return-to-school plan. Schools are often more receptive to a structured plan coming from a specialist than to a general request from a parent.
Q: My child has been out of school for months. Is it too late?
A: It is not too late. Children who have been out of school for extended periods can and do return. The path is more gradual and the work is more intensive, but recovery is absolutely possible.
Q: My child sees a pediatrician and a psychiatrist. Do you coordinate with them?
A: Yes. I welcome collaboration with all members of your child's care team. A coordinated approach is more effective than everyone working independently.
Q: Do you take insurance?
A: Untangled is an out-of-network, private-pay practice. I provide superbills after each session that you can submit to your insurance for potential out-of-network reimbursement. Many PPO plans offer partial reimbursement for out-of-network mental health services.
A note on timing
School refusal tends to worsen the longer it goes untreated. Every week of missed school increases the gap, academically, socially, and emotionally. The anxiety grows. The idea of going back feels bigger. Re-entry becomes harder.
If your child has been out of school for weeks or months, that does not mean it is too late. It means now is the time. The path back to school exists regardless of how long they have been out. But waiting rarely makes it easier.
Reaching out early, even at the first signs of school anxiety, is always the right call.
Common questions about School Anxiety treatment
Adress:
PHONE: +1 630-394-5878
Serving Naperville, Aurora, Bolingbrook, Wheaton, Warrenville, Lisle, Woodridge & surrounding suburbs · Telehealth in IL & IA · © 2025 Untangled OCD and Anxiety Specialists
Links:
EMAIL: jelena@untangledocd.com
ADDRESS: 640 South Washington St. Suite 212 Naperville, IL, 60540, United States
LICENSED IN: Illinois & Iowa | Indiana coming soon
Accessibility
I offer in-person sessions in the Naperville area and telehealth across Illinois and Iowa. If you need a home visit for school refusal, anxiety support, or family coaching, I can do that. If you need intensive sessions, I can do that too.
